AUG. '05
Damn near every morning around 5:15-5:30 I drive the mile down to the ocean and sneak into the Hilton parking lot before the security guards come on duty. I picked this place out on the Internet and the longer I live here the more I realize how lucky my choice was. The sixty mile grand strand is almost all plastic. Access to the beach is pretty limited and there are not many places on the beach where the square footage of skin isn't greater than the square footage of sand. Except here. Heading northeast along the beach from the Hilton, there are four more hotels, Then there is a huge RV campground shielded from the beach by sand dunes. It comes in handy because they have open bathrooms (old age+ coffee). Years ago I would have thought of the place as a trailer park, but those days are gone. Huge campers with expandable rooms, satellite tv, and buses what would please the ego of any rock star. Just beyond the RV park there is a stretch of sand dunes about 8-10 feet high and about two miles long. The first 500 acre section is some kind of Baba Ganoosh (or maybe it was Meher Baba) spiritual center. And then there are the exclusive Briarwood home sites, but none of the houses are visible from the beach.
In the winter time I almost always have the beach to myself, and even now I seldom see more than 4 or 5 people. So damn near every morning I start my walk just before daybreak and am walking toward the sun when it comes up. Occasionally I see deer tracks leading down to the water for their weekly dose of salt. But usually it's just me and the waves and the sunrise. Paradise! The round trip is almost exactly 5 miles and by the time I come back by the RV park the homesteaders are out on the beach staking out claims. Drill a hole, stick in an umbrella, set up a couple of folding chairs, and they are set for the day.
Whistle Blower Speaks
Some time ago I mentioned that one of my neighbors on Coughlin Meadows back in Boulder was a distinguished professor of mathematics at MIT. Fellow's name is Daniel Strook. There was always something odd about him, it just seemed like he was harboring some terrible secret that he could neither reveal or bear to carry. We would run into each other on occasion during our morning excursions to the woods, and gradually I began to understand that he was involved in some secret experimentation regarding randomness. One day we were talking about the fact that we had both been to Costa Rica, and I was telling him how excited I had been to have stumbled on a large troop of monkeys while hiking in the rain forest. For no particular reason I mentioned the old saw about if you put X number of monkeys in a room with typewriters, that given an infinite amount of time they would reproduce all the works of Shakspere. It was like I had shot him. He turned white as a sheet and walked away. I had no idea what the problem was but I didn't mention it again, and he never explained what had upset him.
Now I am one of those bleeding heart softies who hates animal cruelty more than almost anything. I also have keen intuition and plug away at things I wonder about until I understand. I couldn't get the picture of monkeys trapped in a room out of my mind.
Not to brag, but over the years I have become a pretty good hacker. So I broke into the mathematical research computer at MIT and eventually ran across a study that I couldn't believe. That "old saw" about the monkeys is real! Unspeakably horrible. I sensed that they were beginning to suspect someone was lurking in their drives, so I had to leave quickly, but before I left I did manage to download part of a status report. I am afraid to make it public, so I have hidden it away in one of my files. I have hidden a link to the files somewhere on my web site but it is so well disguised I don't think the government will ever be able to find it.
There is nothing over this way
GRONERPUNS
Mark Antony was taking his morning jog along the Tiber River. Just as he turned away from the river and started up Mons Aventinus he spotted something unusual growing behind a hemlock bush. When he parted the bush he saw the largest, most beautiful berry he had ever seen. Surely, he reasoned this was a great omen. He carefully collected the berry and took it back to headquarters where he consulted with Octavius and Lepidus. Surely this was a gift from the gods and the triumvirate hastily erected a shrine so that all the citizens of Rome could behold this wonder. Since Calphurnia had a lot of time on her hands after Caesar's demise, she was chosen to be the caretaker of the berry. On evening just at closing time three men emerged from the shadows and Calphurnia explained to them that the shrine was closed and they would have to come back the next morning to pay their respects. But to her dismay, the three pulled daggers from their togas and shouted "we come to seize your berry, not to praise it."
Damn near every morning around 5:15-5:30 I drive the mile down to the ocean and sneak into the Hilton parking lot before the security guards come on duty. I picked this place out on the Internet and the longer I live here the more I realize how lucky my choice was. The sixty mile grand strand is almost all plastic. Access to the beach is pretty limited and there are not many places on the beach where the square footage of skin isn't greater than the square footage of sand. Except here. Heading northeast along the beach from the Hilton, there are four more hotels, Then there is a huge RV campground shielded from the beach by sand dunes. It comes in handy because they have open bathrooms (old age+ coffee). Years ago I would have thought of the place as a trailer park, but those days are gone. Huge campers with expandable rooms, satellite tv, and buses what would please the ego of any rock star. Just beyond the RV park there is a stretch of sand dunes about 8-10 feet high and about two miles long. The first 500 acre section is some kind of Baba Ganoosh (or maybe it was Meher Baba) spiritual center. And then there are the exclusive Briarwood home sites, but none of the houses are visible from the beach.
In the winter time I almost always have the beach to myself, and even now I seldom see more than 4 or 5 people. So damn near every morning I start my walk just before daybreak and am walking toward the sun when it comes up. Occasionally I see deer tracks leading down to the water for their weekly dose of salt. But usually it's just me and the waves and the sunrise. Paradise! The round trip is almost exactly 5 miles and by the time I come back by the RV park the homesteaders are out on the beach staking out claims. Drill a hole, stick in an umbrella, set up a couple of folding chairs, and they are set for the day.
Whistle Blower Speaks
Some time ago I mentioned that one of my neighbors on Coughlin Meadows back in Boulder was a distinguished professor of mathematics at MIT. Fellow's name is Daniel Strook. There was always something odd about him, it just seemed like he was harboring some terrible secret that he could neither reveal or bear to carry. We would run into each other on occasion during our morning excursions to the woods, and gradually I began to understand that he was involved in some secret experimentation regarding randomness. One day we were talking about the fact that we had both been to Costa Rica, and I was telling him how excited I had been to have stumbled on a large troop of monkeys while hiking in the rain forest. For no particular reason I mentioned the old saw about if you put X number of monkeys in a room with typewriters, that given an infinite amount of time they would reproduce all the works of Shakspere. It was like I had shot him. He turned white as a sheet and walked away. I had no idea what the problem was but I didn't mention it again, and he never explained what had upset him.
Now I am one of those bleeding heart softies who hates animal cruelty more than almost anything. I also have keen intuition and plug away at things I wonder about until I understand. I couldn't get the picture of monkeys trapped in a room out of my mind.
Not to brag, but over the years I have become a pretty good hacker. So I broke into the mathematical research computer at MIT and eventually ran across a study that I couldn't believe. That "old saw" about the monkeys is real! Unspeakably horrible. I sensed that they were beginning to suspect someone was lurking in their drives, so I had to leave quickly, but before I left I did manage to download part of a status report. I am afraid to make it public, so I have hidden it away in one of my files. I have hidden a link to the files somewhere on my web site but it is so well disguised I don't think the government will ever be able to find it.
There is nothing over this way
GRONERPUNS
Mark Antony was taking his morning jog along the Tiber River. Just as he turned away from the river and started up Mons Aventinus he spotted something unusual growing behind a hemlock bush. When he parted the bush he saw the largest, most beautiful berry he had ever seen. Surely, he reasoned this was a great omen. He carefully collected the berry and took it back to headquarters where he consulted with Octavius and Lepidus. Surely this was a gift from the gods and the triumvirate hastily erected a shrine so that all the citizens of Rome could behold this wonder. Since Calphurnia had a lot of time on her hands after Caesar's demise, she was chosen to be the caretaker of the berry. On evening just at closing time three men emerged from the shadows and Calphurnia explained to them that the shrine was closed and they would have to come back the next morning to pay their respects. But to her dismay, the three pulled daggers from their togas and shouted "we come to seize your berry, not to praise it."
POT POURY
(Feb 2008 So I changed the name a few times. So?)
This page incorporates the former Sage Sayings just in case my sage genes kick in again. In response to an overwhelming effluvium emanating from cyberspace and in a desperate attempt to stave off ephemerality, I am adding this section which I promise to update more frequently with assorted teaser tidbits from my vast archives or obscure corners of the net. Not an original concept, but hey, plagiarism is now a required skill in most of our fine universities.
(Feb 2008 So I changed the name a few times. So?)
This page incorporates the former Sage Sayings just in case my sage genes kick in again. In response to an overwhelming effluvium emanating from cyberspace and in a desperate attempt to stave off ephemerality, I am adding this section which I promise to update more frequently with assorted teaser tidbits from my vast archives or obscure corners of the net. Not an original concept, but hey, plagiarism is now a required skill in most of our fine universities.
June '05
Channel hopping the other night, I came across yet another documentary on UFO's. Although it is not really a subject I have much interest in, it occurred to me that I had never publicly revealed my own two UFO experiences.
One of the things that impresses me is the absolute certainty some folks have that what they saw was real. I know the feeling. One evening sometime in the seventies just a week before the official opening of the Pearl Street Mall in Boulder, I was walking from my office to a local bar when I saw what appeared to be a row of flashing lights moving toward me in the night sky. As the lights became more distinct it seemed to be a circular object with lights rotating around it. Within the space of a few seconds the following stuff occurred. As it became obvious to me that what I was seeing was not an illusion of some sort but was real, I remember thinking something like "if that doesn't make sense damn quick, I am seeing a flying saucer". At first I didn't hear a sound, but by the time it passed over me I could hear a plane motor and see for the first time in my life one of those moving letter advertisement signs mounted on the plane's wings. It was announcing the Mall Opening festivities.
My other dead certainty sighting took place around 1992 or so. I was walking on a clear day in downtown Denver when I spotted a circular white object high in the sky. It behaved just like some of the other descriptions of UFOs I had read. It appeared to be very high and moving at a fantastic rate of speed. Then it would swerve instantaneously and fly off in another direction. I watched it for several minutes without being able to make sense out of it. Then for some reason my depth perception genes kicked in and I recognized that I was watching a balloon, not thousands of feet in the air but only a hundred or so, and it was erratically drifting around in the building cross currents.
I hope that by coming forward at great risk of public humiliation, even having my sanity doubted, I can at last clear up this UFO thing once and for all. I just couldn't carry the burden any longer. I thought I could, but when Deep Throat caved I knew it was over.
A few Universal Truths.
An easily understood lie, however counter intuitive, is far more widely accepted than a complex truth, regardless of the level of proof.
The only ingredient common to all weight loss programs is sweat.
Voting for a candidate who has no chance of winning is indistinguishable from staying home.
Channel hopping the other night, I came across yet another documentary on UFO's. Although it is not really a subject I have much interest in, it occurred to me that I had never publicly revealed my own two UFO experiences.
One of the things that impresses me is the absolute certainty some folks have that what they saw was real. I know the feeling. One evening sometime in the seventies just a week before the official opening of the Pearl Street Mall in Boulder, I was walking from my office to a local bar when I saw what appeared to be a row of flashing lights moving toward me in the night sky. As the lights became more distinct it seemed to be a circular object with lights rotating around it. Within the space of a few seconds the following stuff occurred. As it became obvious to me that what I was seeing was not an illusion of some sort but was real, I remember thinking something like "if that doesn't make sense damn quick, I am seeing a flying saucer". At first I didn't hear a sound, but by the time it passed over me I could hear a plane motor and see for the first time in my life one of those moving letter advertisement signs mounted on the plane's wings. It was announcing the Mall Opening festivities.
My other dead certainty sighting took place around 1992 or so. I was walking on a clear day in downtown Denver when I spotted a circular white object high in the sky. It behaved just like some of the other descriptions of UFOs I had read. It appeared to be very high and moving at a fantastic rate of speed. Then it would swerve instantaneously and fly off in another direction. I watched it for several minutes without being able to make sense out of it. Then for some reason my depth perception genes kicked in and I recognized that I was watching a balloon, not thousands of feet in the air but only a hundred or so, and it was erratically drifting around in the building cross currents.
I hope that by coming forward at great risk of public humiliation, even having my sanity doubted, I can at last clear up this UFO thing once and for all. I just couldn't carry the burden any longer. I thought I could, but when Deep Throat caved I knew it was over.
A few Universal Truths.
An easily understood lie, however counter intuitive, is far more widely accepted than a complex truth, regardless of the level of proof.
The only ingredient common to all weight loss programs is sweat.
Voting for a candidate who has no chance of winning is indistinguishable from staying home.
Back to Blogish Gallimaufry Table of Contents
Back to Blogish Gallimaufry Table of Contents