Sept '06 Pot Poury
Most everyone has heard the phrase "the shortest distance between two points is a straight line", but not many people know that the longest distance between two points is the path I take. In comparison, the Dixie Chicks took a shortcut. It all started when I decided to double the RAM on my old computer - - that's right, I said my old computer. Sitting here now gazing at my fancy flat screen monitor I sometimes have flashbacks to a series of events, only some of them cyber related, that would have made Murphy proud. Hi!---- it's good to be home.
Here's a fun thing I ripped off from somewhere. The idea is to take any word in the dictionary, change a single letter, double, switch, remove, turn upside down, whatever, to make a new word. Then make up a definition for the new word.
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.
Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease
Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
Glibido: All talk and no action.
Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
My turn:
Manicfest (n.): Hysterical proclamation.
Your turn:
I am going to be writing for a while about current political issues while attempting to be apolitical. Like I said earlier, I am retired from voting; have supported my last candidate. Whether the democrats take over congress this fall and the presidency next election or a third party actually gets off the ground, is not going to make a hell of a lot of difference to the ridiculous mess we have gotten ourselves into.
Til next time...
Most everyone has heard the phrase "the shortest distance between two points is a straight line", but not many people know that the longest distance between two points is the path I take. In comparison, the Dixie Chicks took a shortcut. It all started when I decided to double the RAM on my old computer - - that's right, I said my old computer. Sitting here now gazing at my fancy flat screen monitor I sometimes have flashbacks to a series of events, only some of them cyber related, that would have made Murphy proud. Hi!---- it's good to be home.
Here's a fun thing I ripped off from somewhere. The idea is to take any word in the dictionary, change a single letter, double, switch, remove, turn upside down, whatever, to make a new word. Then make up a definition for the new word.
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.
Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease
Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
Glibido: All talk and no action.
Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
My turn:
Manicfest (n.): Hysterical proclamation.
Your turn:
I am going to be writing for a while about current political issues while attempting to be apolitical. Like I said earlier, I am retired from voting; have supported my last candidate. Whether the democrats take over congress this fall and the presidency next election or a third party actually gets off the ground, is not going to make a hell of a lot of difference to the ridiculous mess we have gotten ourselves into.
Til next time...
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